There is now enough anecdotal evidence to prove that all ball-based sports are pretty much the same game, experts say.
Prof. Nigel Simmons, of the Centre for Athletic Development Studies, recently told BitchForum that all of society had come to the conclusion collectively, after centuries of playing ball sports.
“At first, we thought it was an individual problem,” he says. “We thought, ‘are people just ignorant? Do they not pay enough attention?’ But it turns out, there’s actually no difference between games like basketball, soccer and even baseball.”
This new theory was proved just weeks ago when local mum Sharon took her 10-year-old son Jack to sports practice.
“I rocked up to the ‘basketball’ court in our area, and this middle-aged amateur coach had the nerve to tell me I was in the wrong place.”
Without asking any further questions, Sharon went into attack mode, assuming it was a personal slight against her son.
“Of course, I immediately chucked a tantie and demanded to know why my son had been cut from the team,” says Sharon. “It turns out; he wasn’t actually on the team, or even registered to play.”
Slightly too late, Jack piped in to let his mum know he was supposed to be at a grassy field for something called soccer, not the concrete slab with the tall hooped poles.
“The coach forgave my anger, and we had a bit of a laugh. He reckons that sort of thing happens all the time.”
Experts are advising coaches and team managers to just let any kid that arrives at a game the opportunity to play, because according to Prof. Simmons “no one really knows the rules, anyway.”
At the time of press, the state of the Olympic Games remains unconfirmed.
